Being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen, and trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in.

The other day for the fourth time I finished Sue Monk Kidd’s The Secret Life Of Bee’s. For anyone who has yet to read this book, you must drive now to your nearest Chapters, Coles, Walmart, anywhere that sells paperback to get yourself a copy. Words cannot possibly describe how this book made me feel.

There’s a quote in it, and it struck me so deeply that I knew I had to share it here:

“No matter how much you thought you could leave your mother behind, she would never disappear from the tender places in you”

I lost my mother two years ago. The topic is one of the few in my life that remains a twisted puzzle of vulnerability and pain that I have difficulty opening up about. The moments I do choose to talk are generally only with those very close to me and mostly laced with such tactless indecent humor that an outsider might not understand my point of view. In true daughter form I take after my mother by masking most obstacles in my life with passionate humor, from a young age I realized life was going to seem a whole lot longer if I couldn’t see the hilarity through the clouds.

Back to the book, needless to say the entire thing made me break down in tears. In a mere 336 pages I felt a chord strike through all the layers in me that seemed to ease the ache deep in those tender places.
Holidays are always a bit of a touchy thing for me, but today I managed to put aside my grief and wacky humor and just be thankful for the eighteen Mothers Day’s I was blessed enough to have with her.