"Life is both a major and a minor key, just open up the chord"

I AM … happy.
I WANT… a macbook.
I HAVE … an indescribably wonderful family.
I KEEP … ticket stubs, birthday candles, and letters.
I WISH I COULD … go skydiving.
I HATE … people who are reckless with other people's hearts.
I FEAR … not saying I love you enough.
I HEAR … the ticking clock of St. Nick...only 100 more days till Christmas!
I DON’T THINK … before I open my mouth sometimes.
I REGRET … nothing.
I LOVE … science fiction, pride and prejudice, the word fanny, and long hugs.
I AM NOT … perfect.
I DANCE … the sprinkler, shopping cart and lawn mower, all preferrably to James Brown.
I SING … loudest alone in the shower.
I NEVER … say never.
I RARELY … wear the same shoes.
I CRY WHEN I WATCH … Steel Magnolias.
I AM NOT ALWAYS … loud.
I HATE THAT … Stephanie Meyer has stopped writing Midnight Sun.
I’M CONFUSED ABOUT … life sometimes.
I NEED … chocolate and laughter.
I SHOULD … get back to work.

Oh my life is changing everyday, in every possible way"

I am SO over the moon excited, it’s hardly containable.

When I stumbled into this world of wedding photography months ago I couldn’t help but be drawn in by all of the breathtaking portraits, exquisite details and loving stories. I have continued to brighten more and more to the idea of having two of my most favorite things combined into a future career: love and photography to a point where I’m nearly bursting.

I’ve drifted continually from site to site of the many photographers out there, who have now come to be my most prominent influences and inspiration, Jessica Claire, Jasmine Star, Jesh De Rox, and most of all [b]ecker.

[B] started with the idea that “the rising tide raises all ships”, his generous beliefs have morphed into the most phenomenal upcoming resource for new photographers everywhere: The [B] school. After a torturously long, but entirely worth it wait he has unveiled it’s opening October 1, 2008. When I thought I could not possibly wind up with any more enthusiasm an exclusive offer to join in private school was posted and I bubbled over the edge. Come September 17th, you will find me praying to every existing high deity, with credit card in hand, four leaf clover in pocket and a steady finger on the refresh button. Fingers crossed I slide my way in there :)




Oh and here's a teaser for my next post, I promise the photos to come are just as utterly fantastic as this bad boy!

"You think you're one of millions, but you're one in a million to me"

Saturday morning was my favorite kind of sleepy delight, sandwiched between Layne and Marc, my fingers sticky with jam, and mouth full with biscuits I couldn't help but feel overwhelmingly grateful for my family. I had finally had a chance to get over to my Aunty Pam's house, something I've let be pushed off my plate for far too long since she returned from an unbelievable trip to Norway.

The kids eventually left in their chaotic twister and we spread across the busied counter photographs, brochures, and european chocolate. She shared her trip memories like a collection of preciously whispered tokens and I realized fully how much I really had missed her even just for those couple weeks. There's some piece so large she brings to my life that my hearts feels entirely capable to keep chugging but lacks part of it's usual zest without her. Like a key to let the most ridiculously Camille parts of me shine horrifically and fantastically bright; the story of my life rings happily with her laughter as a permanent slot on its soundtrack.

"This could be the very minute I'm aware I'm alive"

It’s been nearly a month since and I am still finding myself grappling with stubborn insecurities. And it seems they’ve gotten the better of me.

Again.

Things have happened that I wished I’d wrote here but I guess I just felt too….shy. Now any one within an actual sphere of my world reading this would probably choke with astonishment at such a word in any way attached to my usually frighteningly loud gushing self, but it seems here in this substantial cyberspace of photographer-land I am swallowed in fear and retreat quickly to the safety of daily blog stalking and blank silence.

In feeding off the wonderful quote I added to the left, I am going to truly envelope myself in my own uniqueness. I know the wonderful me, I need to put aside being afraid to share that. Need to remind myself not to feel so discouraged when things don’t come easy, a quality you’d think I’d have grasped by now.

Here’s to my fifth or sixth kick-in-the-ass to smarten up. To be accountable, to be committed. To photography, to this blog, to others around me. To myself.

"I'm hooked on you, I need a fix, I can't take it, Just one more it, I promise I can deal with it"

So now that I have all that heavy stuff off my chest, I can get onto the juicy stuff :)

I have been (along with 1.3million other people) enthralled with the book series Twilight. I just had to post here how much I loved these books. The latest "Breaking Dawn" came out last week, and I devoured it in under 48 hours. It's that good.

I tell every person I talk to, friends and strangers how fantastic it is. I love books of all shapes and sizes, whether it be science fiction, romance, non-fiction, biographies, I love them all. There is no greater pleasure then to fall into a world someone has created. And I must say for the billionth time what a world Stephenie Meyer's has created.

This last book was everything I had hoped it would be and more. The plot delves into such emotion that it is utterly heart clenching to read it, the good and the bad.

They're turning it into a movie in which the love of my fictional life Edward is played by the ever so dreamy Robert Pattison. I can't wait, click here to catch a trailer, you'll become addicted instantly I swear it.

Edited to add this scan from Entertainment Weekly. Enough Said.

"Makes no difference who you are, Anything your heart desires, Will Come to You"

There’s no excuse, I just simply let life trample over me. I don’t know what it is about summer but I always feel like there’s eight things tugging at my attention, and my juggling act this year became slightly pitiful.

And amongst the chaos I couldn’t really bring myself to look here, my naively hopeful words plastered in a seemingly haunting way. I promised myself I would be open and honest here, to have a true reflection for the future to see my growth, And in true honesty, I lost faith in this, lost faith in myself.

I let myself go to the bleakest of places, where failures are magnified and problems seem insurmountable. Things seemed to spiral and I let my normally sunny attitude become considerably more cloudy.

And I’m here to apologize to myself, because I know I’m not only better, but stronger than that. And I know I will make this dream happen, it might take a little longer than I’d like but I’ve got to put down my inhibited and bashful ways when it comes to stepping out on that ledge. And I’ve got to untwist my perception that stressed finances is enough of an excuse to quite.

I am vowing here to not let time pass and guiltily neglect this blog, I will ask anyone I can to take their pictures. I will put out everything I have, and in turn create what I know I can be.

"Help me if you can, I'm feeling down. And I do appreciate you being round."

So this is a bit of an S.O.S. post. I need help, major help!! My cousin-roommate-all-around-life-mate decided atChristmas to join the Walk to End Breast Cancer. Even to just sign up made me burst with pride. Our family history has been consistently riddled with cancer for years, and really any kind of charity work seems not just benefecial for society as a whole, but good for the soul as a whole too.

Now she's got 60km to walk between those two days, and I've watched her weave throughout our neighbourhood blocks to train, guzzle dozens of powerades and pimp the color pink more than you could ever imagine.

And where I thought her greatest challenge would be lengthening her endurance, there's actually been a much larger hurdle to cross. The weekend requires a fundraising goal of $2000.00 dollars. Now this did seem a daunting amount, but I know I thought it would come easily with enough cajoling of family members and bake sales, but at this point I've baked about 18 dozen batches of cookies, we've drawn 50/50 sales and Amanda has sent fourth email requests and she still remains at 36% on her goal thermomemeter.

So really this post is a combination, of both a request for any possible ideas to raise more money--(Please leave bake sales out, I repeat my clothes cannot handle anymore flour/icing sugar stains) And a request that if anyone is actually here reading my vicarious rumblings of life and they would like to help a good cause they would visit Amanda's site and donate.

I know it's asking a lot, especially since if anyone is here, they are most likely strangers, but this is an amazing cause, and even if $10.00is all you can contribue, it makes a difference.

Here is the link to her donation siteIf all you can offer is encouraging words as donation, feel free to leave a post and I'll pass it on to Amanda.

Thank you for listening :)